Waiting

Well, we are at about 4 1/2 months of waiting for our referral. We have been sitting at "any day now" for about a month. Boy, that is tiring! I felt Christmas Eve emotions for several weeks. Now, I'm moving closer to self-preservation emotions. I have even started to feel the "I don't think this will ever happen" emotions.

While I try to remind myself every day that God is in charge and that He knows best, I find myself slipping into some anxious thoughts as well. I was sharing this with my sis, and she shared the following. (This is from Beth Moore's Getting out of the Pit.)

"Think about it. God could have accomplished in an instant many of the things that He decided instead to hammer out over the tedium of years. Sarai could have felt Isaac kick lustily within her before the dust of Ur was off of Abram's sandals. God takes His own sweet time because sweet time is God's to take. Still, if man weren't around, I personally think He'd go back into the instant-action mode. Why wait if there's no one to wait with you? God created time for man. In fact, even the words 'in the beginning' mark the tick of the first clock. The Trinity has no such bounds in the eternal state. A wait is time oriented and, therefore, primarily man oriented. Perhaps among a host of other reasons, I think God often ordains a wait because He purely enjoys the togetherness of it.
Recently one of our best friends got a staph infection and kissed death on the cheek so many times we still don't know how he kept from going home with it. His closest friends hovered at the door of ICU for days. We hadn't been together like that in years. Hadn't had time. Suddenly a life-and-death crisis came and we made time. Relationship. That's one of the best things that can come out of a waiting room. Even the faith in God that an intense wait demands is about relationship. God calls upon us to walk in faith because faith requires a partner to place it in.
Not long ago when I battled those confounded health problems, a loving coworker was a bit mystified over the distraction God had allowed in my life at such a very busy time. I know I didn't need to take up for Him, but I did anyway. 'I think He missed me," I told her. She nodded, 'I understand.' And by the way she smiled I knew she'd experienced exactly what I was talking about. In the relatively smooth days preceding the health issue, I had still sought Him and served Him in one capacity or another virtually every day and, heaven knows, I still loved Him. But smooth living invariably, eventually, makes for sloppy spirituality. I want consuming fire to rage in my soul, and if it's got to come through fiery trial, so be it. I want Jesus. A lot of Him. And obviously, He wanted me. All of me."

I don't really have a lot else to say. I'm just going to try to make the most of this wait, even if I don't feel like it will ever end. That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, would it?!